Lie To Me! Fabrications, Fables, Fairy Tales And Fibs

"He gives speeches, but they put him back in bed where he wrote his satire."

- Brian Wilson, 'He Gives Speeches' (original lyrics)

I think it was in kindergarten when I remember being told the story of little George "I cannot tell a lie" Washington and the cherry tree he confessed to his father he had chopped down. Through this vignette, my classmates and I were admonished to always tell the truth. The only problem was that often told tale ... is a lie, a fabricated fable of fibbing fiction. It was actually created by biographer, Mason Locke Weems, as an anecdote laudable to Washington's character and as an "exemplary to his countrymen". Nevertheless, this fractured fairy tale is almost as hallowed as the national anthem.

When I was 2 years old, the US Congress passed the 'Gulf of Tonkin Resolution' granting President Johnson the wanton power to take military action as he saw fit in Southeast Asia, ostensibly to combat the spread of communist aggression. The passage of the resolution, enabling Johnson to launch America full-tilt into the Vietnam war, was predicated on a fabricated set of events suggesting that American naval vessels had come under unprovoked attack by the North Vietnamese.

When I first heard the above tale, I remember being skeptical. I'm not sure why my 'bullshit detector' went off that day. Perhaps it was the result of a burgeoning character flaw or a latent psychic ability to perceive the teacher's own insincerity in her own overly dramatic rendition of the fable. Some might say that my lack of gullibility at that tender age speaks volumes of my character or my perception of ethics. And, indeed early on I began to question my moral constitution. In retrospect, I was 'looney' to do so.

When I was 3 years old, my sister told me about a cow that jumped over the moon. My grandmother, whose stock reply to most things was "tell it to Sweeney", later cracked that the moon was made of cheese.

As a society, we seem to be obsessed with lies. Parents spend eons of time drilling the words “don't lie to me” and “be honest!” into their children's heads. Fairy tales and fables regularly espouse 'golden rules' and long-winded speeches on ethics. Yet, we allow 'big business' concerns to lie to us on a regular basis under the pretenses of marketing. Similarly, I don't think patriotism has anything to do with our accepting that some politicians and lawyers actually lie for a living. Incredibly, the 'powers that be' of government even enact laws of impunity, pardoning such actions under the guise of national security. Yes, it's a bitter pill to swallow, but one that's administered every day.

When I was 4 years old I remember my pediatrician telling me he had to look in my ear to see if there was a puppy or elephant hiding in there. A moment later, brandishing a hypodermic needle about two feet long, he dismissed my fears by telling me, “this won't hurt”.

Teachers lie to us, transmitting historical revisionism with out a thought, and in many cases without knowledge of the fabricated fiction they force feed us. After all, if it's written in the history books ... well then it's must be accurate. The truth is that we know the truth, but we dismiss it anyway, waving it away like a cloud of smoke.

When I was 5 years old, Lucky Strike cigarettes launched an ad claiming that 20,679 physicians suggest that 'Luckies' are 'less irritating' than other brands, and that the 'coffin nails' represent “your Throat Protection against irritation and against cough”.

Hollywood films makes us believe that which is unbelievable, and we love it. In fact, we expect movies to defy our expectations in this respect. Ask George Lucas, who replaced "Muppet" Yoda with 'computer generated image (CGI)' Yoda.

When I was 6 years old, I convinced my first grade teacher that I could speak Chinese. I did so by counting to 10 in mono-syllabic utterances that sounded more like 'Klingonese' than anything Asian oriented. She was so impressed she fawned over my abilities in my mother's presence at their first parent-teacher meeting. My mother, nonplussed, rebutted the claim forthwith. Upon returning home, she asked me why I had lied to my teacher. I responded by asking her if she spoke Chinese.

Scientists are still working on revising the absolute laws of physics, given what we now know or don't know about sub-atomic particles and quantum theory. Nevertheless, schoolchildren are still taught that said laws are absolute.

When I was 7 years old, the Nixon administration dramatically increased funding for the voluntary sterilization of low-income Americans, statistically represented by Americans of color. In light of the 'Family Planning Services and Population Research Act', government funded sterilization programs organized at the behest of the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare (HEW) were accelerated. With respects to Native Americans, it is later revealed via anecdotal evidence that procedures are carried out on patients who were often misinformed of said procedures.

It seems the hardest thing we can do sometimes is be honest with ourselves. You'd think we'd have some inner defense mechanism that prevents us from psychologically pulling the wool over own eyes, but we obviously don't. Many seeking the "truth" of their existence and their shortcomings are easily led astray by nefarious types offering reams of rhetoric and who offer salvation in exchange for blind faith and allegiance.

When I was 8 years old, I kind of figured out that the tooth fairy didn't exist. The handwriting on the encouraging notes she left under my pillow was just too close to my mother's. I recognized it from those notes I had to take to school explaining my frequent absences.

We embrace the concept of 'sometimes its better not to tell the truth' when it's convenient. When faced with adversity we justify, rationalize and defend our actions, regardless of whether we were selfless or self-serving when acting either in our own or in others' regard. Claims of moral ineptitude fall on our defiant deaf ears.

When I was 9 years old, the Watergate scandal exploded. Journalists everywhere feigned a 'holier than thou' attitude. Nevertheless, the news media regularly bends the truth in the name of gaining ratings. Of course, the media doesn't lie, so much as it just withholds the truth. No comment needed.

We really are our own worst enemies. It's ironic how we take take perverse pleasure in watching the witty con-artist shake down his mark, unless the mark is us ... which is exactly what we tend to be when we're desperate and willing to believe anything or anybody, especially those we hold dear.

When I was 10 years old, I convinced myself, that the religious life my family began to live didn't suck. It did, but still I went on convincing myself for another 15 odd years … very odd indeed.

Nevertheless, rather than putting faith in ourselves we're asked to put our faith in science, religion, government and in others. Question the ethics of these purveyors of 'the truth' and you get self-righteous indignation. Indeed, as any schoolchild will tell you, "he who denied it, supplied it."

Suggested Reading:

  

Suggested Listening:

Trackbacks / Pingbacks / Links:

http://encyclopedia.jrank.org/articles/pages/6242/Forced-Sterilization-of-Native-Americans.html#ixzz1X74GZrFI
http://civilliberty.about.com/od/gendersexuality/tp/Forced-Sterilization-History.htm
http://encyclopedia.jrank.org/articles/pages/6242/Forced-Sterilization-of-Native-Americans.html
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~cap/gw/gwmoral.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gulf_of_Tonkin_incident

Google Plus Equals SkyNet: Social Networking And World Domination

Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

- Hal9000 computer (Arthur C. Clarke, 2001: A Space Odyssey)

“Talk to me!”, says I.
“Who are you?”, says the stranger.
“I am no one!”, says I.
“Sorry, I haven't got time for your pain”, says he shuffling away. Or was it a she?

So have you been invited to join Google+ yet? As of this writing, I haven't, and it's probably a good thing, too, because I can only generate so many social niceties per day, certainly not enough to spread around to all the social networking platforms that currently exist in cyberspace.

As I wrote in another post, I 'did' MySpace, now on autopilot, and I currently 'do' Facebook. I also use Twitter and share my comments on the nonsensical news of the day there (follow me, follow me). But in terms of conversation, there's not much happening there. Yes, in other words no one will talk to me. Does that phase me, you ask? Not in the least. Though I might confess to being a bit irked.

Now I was told by a Twitter expert, who is wise in the ways of social media, that I needed to 'start talking' if I wanted to get the party started. I understand completely. Just as it is with real social circles, some folks are reticent to engage in pleasantries with someone who talks to himself.

“Hello!? Hello!? I'm alive over here!”, I might tweet. The silence is deafening. Not even a retweet.
An email soon finds it's way to my inbox with the subject line reading “follow me and I'll follow you”. It's from 'dudecashwise362'. “Where are we going?” I reply in an email. No response.

Ok. you all know how it goes. Having something interesting, witty, or life affirming to say won't get you very far in social networking, unless you are a celebrity and don't mind commenting in passing on what you ate for brunch. Though, if you really are a celebrity, you’d no doubt have someone else do the tweeting  for you, and eat your lunch for you, as well (#winning).

If you are a 'no one', however, then there is only so much self abuse you can take by 'tweeting' to a flock of 'we don't care' celebrity stools. Yes, celebritism is alive and well, and those who worship every celebrity dropping certainly have no time for you.

So, the big question, however, is do I really want to get the 'party' started, especially with celebrity intensive zombie types? I must confess that these days I'm not much in the 'party' mood; I'm in the writing mood. So, do I really want to put my creative energies into blithering banter, glib chitchat and all manners of cyber persiflage? I'd say no. If I did, I'd probably have no time for my blog ... which most likely no on reads, except for 'search bots'. Anyway, zombies, by the way, are not really big on conversation; they just want to eat your brain … which leads me to my next point.

Google+ makes me nervous. Honestly. Use of an arithmetic function seems less social oriented and more machine language enamored. Machines are not social creatures. They interface. Not very sexy.

We've seen this before with Google Wave and Google Buzz. If anything, Google+ seems a bit more insidious, especially in that Google already it's spindly talons into all forms of online services. Yes, Google's aim is to make this personal. It doesn't want to own just your email, blogs, videos, RSS feeds, surf and search habits, cloud based personal and business documents, and both computer and mobile telephony operating systems. It wants the whole ball of wax: your online social identity and that of our friends and business colleagues, as well as theirs, and theirs, and theirs, and so on, and so on, and so on. It also wants control of your applications and hardware. Sound familiar?

Cloud based computing? Give me a break! It seems that Google's intentions have gone far beyond creating its own version of George Orwell's dystopian society in his novel 1984. Pulling a “Big Brother is watching you” number on us by keeping up under surveillance and controlling our 'freedom of  choice' via media streaming (Youtube and Adwords, for example) is bad enough. But I suspect, that Google want's even more... or is even more.

Some of you have seen films such as the Matrix (Keannu Reeves: Whoa!) or the Terminator (SkyNet). Maybe you've watched Battlestar Galactica on TV and are weary of 'cylons' lurking around every corner. Remember HAL9000, the paranoid and homicidal sentient computer from Arthur C. Clarke's 2001: A Space Odyssey? What about the supercomputer, WOPR, from the film Wargames? I could even mention an odd film called Demon Seed, but that would be really perverse!

In these films, the names change and the plots may be different, but the one salient feature these all have in common is the subjugation of the human masses by an authoritarian body that knows all via technology.

Is Google a burgeoning SkyNet? Is Google really just taking names, numbers, and personal data, biding its time under false pretenses, waiting for the moment to attack?

My fellow 'Netizens', now is the time for a preemptive strike against what is no doubt some artificial intelligence lurking in the Google controlled and operated web clouds. Now is the time to send a clear message to all of humanity to pull the plug on Google and it's designs for world domination. At the very least, tell Google+ that we don't want it horning in on our social circles. I'd tell you to write your congressman, but he's probably too busy sexting someone.

Lord! And they say the hackers are the bad guys! (Cue the Love Boat theme)....
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PS. Thanks for reading. Seriously,  what is your take on Google+? Is it me or is Google really desperate here? Are you concerned about why you haven't received an invitation, or are you still trying to figure out what Tumblr is? Let me know.

Suggested Reading:
   

Suggested Listening:

Duck, Cover, Kiss Your Butt Goodbye. Really!

“All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.” - Ronald Reagan

Yesterday, there were a couple news articles that caught my attention. The first was about residents from Fukushima nuclear disaster area who have radioactive urine. I don't know about you, but that makes my hair stand on end. It's just one more reason why I'm happy I don't have a microwave oven and am trying to limit my mobile phone use. Really.

The other troubling news item was an article suggesting that US nuclear evacuation plans haven't been updated to account for population growth. It seems that according to statistics based on the US Census information, urban populations around nuclear power plant facilities have ballooned 450 percent. So what that means is that if you live in an area near a nuclear power plant and your regular drive home from work is a slow, painful and maddening exercise of slowly crawling along with bumper to bumper 'stop and go' congested rush hour traffic … well, then you already know what your evacuation route driving conditions will be in the event of a nuclear accident, such as a meltdown. Seriously. Really.

If you are one of those types that like to wave off 'doom and gloom' scenarios dismissing them as 'what if' fantasies, then I guess I need to remind you of the disasters at Three-Mile Island, Chernobyl, and Fukushima disasters. Yes, nuclear power plants are not the fool-proof safe facilities that governments and industries purport them to be. Really.

Let's turn up the 'worry wart' factor just a few notches. Have you heard about all those airplanes that airlines routinely fly past their original life expectancy? It's the same thing with nuclear power plants. Today, in the United States alone, there are 104 nuclear power plants. The older ones still in operation today and built in the 50's, 60s' and 70's have, or maybe I should say had, an operational life of 30 years. The statistical probabilities for something mechanical to go wrong with them, let alone human error, increases significantly with each passing day of prolonged operation. They are disasters waiting to happen. Really.

Oh yes, I mentioned human error. Yes, humans are bound to get it wrong, maybe not every time, but obviously, we are not machines. Yes, we have computers to help us out these days, yet many often forget that humans also program and design those computers. And, as any computer programmer or hacker might tell you 'garbage in-garbage out'. Really.

Governments and 'Big Business' are certainly human creations. So is the oxymoron, military intelligence. And, in this respect I'm always amazed by how some people are able to speak in absolute terms about things they know very little about ... or more insidiously, don't want you to know about. For example, beginning in early 1950s, United States children were taught to “Duck and Cover” in the event of a nuclear weapon detonation. As if lying face-down, assuming a fetal position and covering their heads with their hands, would actually save them from being irradiated. Really.

History can teach us many things to prevent us from repeating the same bone-head mistakes again and again and again, ad nauseum. The history is atomic energy yields many examples. I would start at the beginning but we all basically we know what kind of devastation an atomic bomb can wreak. We've seen it's destructive power in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Most of the fathers of atomic energy eventually condemned its development and use, especially for military purposes. Nevertheless, the 'powers that be' and those who would profit from the development of nuclear power said 'we can do better', especially in the face of international competition. And so the creation of the thermonuclear bomb, also known as the hydrogen bomb, was commissioned, carrying with it the strength of almost 60 atomic bombs. Really.

Harnessing nuclear energy was bad enough mainly for purposes of military muscle flexing, but eventually, wouldn't you know it, the powers that be said, “hey we can actually sell this stuff!” And, before you knew it, nuclear power stations were popping up all over the place. Moreover, regular people wanted the ability to nuke things, too. So microwave ovens were created for us all to nuke our food and to vent our frustrations on very small objects. Really.

Ever microwave a potato in the oven a bit too long? It becomes so dried out and hard it can break your teeth if you aren't careful. Similarly, it's been my opinion for many years that nuclear power is just too dangerous. I base this opinion not only the great potential it has to … um … put it lightly … kill people, but also on the fact that most of of people who would manage or regulate it are bone-heads. Really.

What concerns me also is how much of the public really want to stick their heads in the sand in denial because nuclear energy might save them some money on their monthly electric bill, and so they 'want to believe' that nuclear power is safe. They don't want to hear about the victims of Chernobyl or read about radioactive urine. These types just assume that in the case of an accidental nuclear meltdown in their area, they will probably be told to take some boric acid and a few extra vitamins, and their lives will go on their merry way. By the way, did you know that boric acid is a pretty good roach killer and that roaches are probably the only living species that will survive a nuclear holocaust? Really.

Wisdom suggests that if you play with fire, you will get burned. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but at some point in the future. I worry that whether it's the laws of probability or just 'Murphy's Law', nuclear power's destructive energy will eventually burn us all. Big Business is just too willing to cut corners on safety to protect their 'bottom-line', and regulatory governmental agencies are just too slow moving, lackadaisical and imbecilic to really protect the public. If you need proof, look no further than the 'Duck and Cover'* campaign and the fact that the former United States president, George W. Bush, Jr, couldn't even pronounce the word 'nuclear' correctly. Really.

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Links For Your Consideration:

Resources related to the 2011 Japan Crisis - How To Help:
http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/japanquake2011.html

If you think nuclear power plans are safe:
http://www.stopfplnow.org/

Pros and cons of nuclear power:
http://timeforchange.org/pros-and-cons-of-nuclear-power-and-sustainability

Nuclear Power: Dangerous, Dirty & Expensive- 20 Key Facts
http://peaceandjusticeonline.org/2011/05/19/nuclear-power-dangerous-dirty-expensive-20-key-facts/


Wikipedia page on nuclear and radiation accidents
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_and_radiation_accidents

PS. Thanks for reading. Are you worried that the mismanagement of nuclear power will kill us all, or do you think a bigger worry is the radiation from our mobile/cell phones? Who are you scared more of 'Big Business', inept government or Godzilla? Let me know. Really!

Suggested Reading:





*Yes, I know that part of the ideology of the 'Duck and Cover' mantra was to protect children from flying shrapnel should they stand up and look towards the source of the 'flash'. A better preventative measure would have been to not develop nuclear weapons and jump start an arms race with other countries, in the first place.

Suggested Listening:

Frigging Fructose Festers Fears

Warning: The following blog post will make you sick, but if you're like me, not as sick as you already are.

Let's begin with the fact that I am an emotional eater. There, I've said it. I freely admit that I can eat myself sick and all in the name of stress relief. That's right. In some twisted way I've come to falsely believe that on any given day my habitually eating myself into oblivion will momentarily ease my life's chronic daily tension. Yes, I know that I can't stem the tide of life's indignities with junk food or even health food, but knowing as such has never caused me to muster the energy required to facilitate 'mind over matter' (i.e. put that fork down, step away from the table).

As I wedge that last chunky morsel of hot dog bun into my mouth, I realize the sad reality that the orgasmic second of stress release I'm craving is fleeting; it comes and goes and is replaced by that beached whale like bloating feeling in my gut. Lord, where did I ever get the idea that eating brings stress release? As I reach for another slice of key lime pie, I have to wonder if I was born this way, or if somehow I've been programmed to behave like this. Genetics? Nature vs. nurture? Or, ... just plain old conspiracy.

You Must Obey! Feed Me Seymour!

Nutritional Info for Dummies:
Ok, so if you rifle through the contents of your pantry, you will likely find that the single most common ingredient that the majority, if not all, of your packaged food items contain is 'high fructose corn syrup' (HFCS). It's what makes practically all of the processed food we eat taste palatable, even some that are touted as 'dietetic' or 'light'. Without this processed 'chemical' we might sooner be eating the cardboard and plastic packaging, than its contents. Trust me, there is no such thing as a gastronomically delicious dietetic delicacy.

• We all know that sugar in any form isn't good for us. It's a poison by any other name.
• Sucrose is table sugar processed from cane or beet sugar. Not to be snorted. Promotes cavities and tooth rot.
• Glucose / Dextrose is the sugar found in our bodies. What's not used for energy turns to ugly unsightly fat. Not what you find on your powdered donut.
• Fructose is a natural sugar found in fruits. We're told it's good because it doesn't raise insulin levels and it's all natural, but so is sucrose. Too much fructose triggers bloating and diarrhea.
• Corn Syrup is a cheaper sugar substitute made from corn starch. Like hair conditioner, it softens texture and adds volume. Some people bathe in corn starch to relieve crotch rot and other rashes.
• High fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is a laboratory produced mix of fructose and glucose. It has a higher concentration than regular fructose, tastes a zillion times sweeter, and most importantly to food manufacturers (aka Big Business) it's cheaper to produce.

Big Burp

Moreover, since it takes less of HFCS to approximate the same level of 'sweetness' as ordinary sugar, then to people like me this means we can eat more. Come on and be honest. You feel less guilty drinking that 'Double Big Gulp' of Coca-Cola because you don't see the word 'sugar' listed as an ingredient. In a similar vein, you are more likely to polish off that vat of fat free ice cream than the full fat variety. Such self-delusions of grandeur can be quite self-reinforcing. However, it's not just our lack of guilt or ignorance that perpetrates our acts of gluttony. Read on, for here the conspiracy lies. 

HFCS is truly an insidious creation. It addicts us with its tastes and then once ingested forces a biochemical game on us; it not only contributes to weight gain, but also fosters overeating. Fructose does not stimulate the production of  leptin, which is the hormone responsible for telling our bodies "You've had enough, you fat porker!" It also doesn't suppress levels of grehlin, which is a hormone that screams "Hey! I'm starving over here! Feed me!" Now, these are just the effects of good old regular fructose. Concerning HFCS, and let's place emphasis on the words 'high fructose', we can multiply these facts exponentially by ... well even without the numbers, we can do the math and understand why food manufacturers love it. In fact, the governmental 'powers that be' love it too, because more HFCS means more food consumption, which equals more taxes. It also means our wonderfully horrific fast food exports are winners abroad. And, as a result, world domination increases in proportion to waist size.

The Corn Refiners Association

We all know that sugar is bad enough, but HFCS is worse and here's the rub: HFCS promotes 'metabolic syndrome'. That's a fancy word for a combination of risk factors that trigger weight gain, raised cholesterol levels, coronary artery disease, strokes, and type 2 diabetes. It's sort of like the 'triple crown' of health ills. Moreover, for those of you who abstain from alcohol, you may still be at risk of cirrhosis of the liver thanks to HFCS. In fact, the only real metabolic difference in our bodies between drinking a can of Coke versus a can of beer is that the latter gives us a 'buzz'. Unlike Coke, beer is metabolized in our brains. Yet, HFCS does it's damage so surreptitiously that you might think that both the Corn Refiners Association and the National Corn Growers Association were on contract with the Pentagon!

Let's be honest here, I know it's wrong to wash down that Snickers bar and bag of Doritos with a 32 ounce 'BIG GULP' of soda. It's even worse when it involves a 44 ounce 'Super Big Gulp', or a 64 ounce 'Double Gulp' ... and especially with a 128 ounce 'Team Gulp'! However, it's one thing for me to willfully poison my health with foodstuffs I toss down my gullet, and it's another to fathom that various agricultural and food manufacturing industries, as well as Uncle Sam, are attempting to profit from my lack of willpower. In other words, it's one thing for me to knowingly feign a dump truck as I hold a bag of BBQ potato chips up into the air to let its contents 'fly down the chute' into my drooling mouth. It's another thing altogether to realize that I'm being fattened for the slaughter at the behest of 'big business' for its own twisted economic cravings. Knowing this makes me sick, and it should disgust you, too.

Not from the 'X-Files'

The other day I invested 90 minutes of my life to watching a well reasoned presentation, by one Dr. Robert H. Lustig, that laid quite intelligently, and entertainingly, not only how sugar, fructose, and especially HFCS, are killing us, but also how various big business and governmental interests are pulling the trigger. Watching this presentation helped me change my mind about the foods I eat. Now ... I only need to change the foods I eat. I suggest you do the same. Here's the video:

Watch the video and then go to the following websites and complain. Better yet, head on over to their local offices and vomit at their door. Leave them a can of Coke, too!

The US Food and Drug Adminstration: http://www.fda.gov/
- Uncle Sam. He knows the truth. The truth is out there.

The US Department of Agricuture: http://www.usda.gov
- Uncle Sam says grow more corn! We need more ethanol and HFCS!

The Corn Refiners Association: http://www.corn.org/
'Children of the Corn'. Sort of like the NRA and the Tobacco Industry 'Death Merchants'.
  

The National Corn Growers Association: http://www.ncga.com/
Corn Nuts. Proud makers of corn, not porn or tobacco. Not to be confused with the 'Northern California Golf Association'.

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PS. Thanks for reading. Why do we believe it's normal to gulp down 32 ounces of Coca-Cola, shove a Big Mac and fries down our throats, and then go for another 32 ounce refill? Aren't you ashamed that we are so gullible as to continue to allow 'big business' and government to poison us in the name of good economics? Are you an emotional eater or do you really think you're getting exercise by running to the fridge every 10 minutes? Let me know.


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