Doomsday: Wop Bop Baloo Bop A Wop Bam BOOM!

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me

- The Doors

Hark thee heathens! I've been told that this will be my final post, especially since I probably won't be able to post again until after May 21st, the advent of 'End Times'. Oh, you haven't heard? May 21st is Judgement Day. The doomsayers want you to trust that this time they have done the math. OK, but don't panic because it won't really be the end of the world, at least not yet; that won't come for some five months. Yes, the end of the world, and technically speaking the entire universe, will come to an end on October 21st. Mark that day on your caledar for the foremost forecast is for fire, lots of fire... the 'hell on Earth' kind.

Now in all honesty, I really don't want to make light of some folk's fervent beliefs, but I do have to admit that in terms of apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic prophecies a lot of us have been there and done that already. Many a false prophecy has come and gone, and many a bible thumper cum humper has reset his abascus and cancelled his Ebay listings.

This year's doom and gloom events are interesting though; Judgement day just happens to fall on Armed Forces Day, while doomsday in October happens to coincide with International Babbling Day (tip: send your e-cards early this year). I guess this conjunction is particularly auspicious because at least for a short time, there will actually be something to babble about ... that is before everyone shuts up permanently.

For the last few weeks, I've polled various people, both sinners and saints, for their opinions on this dark matter. Most have offered a dismissive albeit nervous laugh at the prophecy. Some feigned ignorance (as if that was ever really an excuse). My 'significant other' is a bit nervous about all this doomsday talk. In fact, she's uncomfortable with people joking about it because, while I doubt she actually believes in the prophecy, she must be thinking 'what if' and 'if so' then 'better safe than sorry'. As for me, well let's just say that over the years, enough people have told me to 'go to hell', so I guess I'm used to this type of metaphysical conundrum.

Now orginally for this post, I thought a bit of triagulation or a comparative analysis of various religious beliefs might be in order. Then again, I thought, what's the point? There are a plethora of religions I don't subscribe to that suggest that, as such, I won't be saved. So, I figure why bother with statitical justification for the obvious?

Nevertheless, there's one thing I know for certain: death is no laughing matter. Death will make a believer out of even the most zealous aetheist, but by that time it will be too late. Yes, death really sucks. It's permanence goes on 'ad infinitum' ... and trust me, that's a really really long time!

Yes, I know these are photos of atom bombs.

Amazingly, I've never really come to terms with our mortality. In fact, I think the atheist view of death is pretty much a downer. At least most religious fanatics talk of kingdom come or reincarnation, though in the latter case, I've never really been sure what's worse: the certainty and infinity of death, or the idea that we may have to come back and do 12 years of school again.

Anyway, so what are we supposed to do in the face of pending natural or in this case supernatural disaster? Here's an idea: in Florida, when a hurricane approaches, native Floridians, like me, tend to throw hurricane parties. These are festive events at which beer and duct tape toting inebriates attempt to stare down these tropical menaces eye to eye (of the storm) and toast their fate and fortune (read: home owner's insurance) or lack thereof (read: home owner's insurance). Somone can play the fiddle while Rome and the rest of the world burns. Ok, ok! It was just a suggestion. What did you expect from a heathen, genuflectuation or a pot luck flogging 'free for all'?

Perhaps there is a deeply instrinsic humanistic message to be gleaned from such doomsday prophecies, even if they don't come to pass. Maybe we should all be a bit kinder to each other. Maybe we should learn to forgive and forget, turn the other cheek and live and let live. Maybe we should learn to love unconditionally, stop taking our existence for granted, and cast a prayer or two heavenward for our fellow neighbor. On the other hand, on May and October 21st, maybe we should just throw one heck of a wicked hurricane party and, as Jim Morrison suggested, get our kicks before the whole shit house goes up in flames.

Well, I guess for those of us who won't be enraptured and saved this Saturday, there is a certain solace in knowing that all the people who would have said "I told you so!" will be gone, and that there will still be lots of other people around moaning and groaning for five months about the NFL lockout, doomsday, prefabricated bomb shelters, and really really strong sunscreen. And well, that's probably good because, as I always say, misery loves company.

PS. Thanks for reading. Are you scared of dying or are you just dying to know one way or the other? Are you really worried about doomsday, or are you fairly certain you're on heaven's 'A' list? Either way, let me know.


Suggested Listening:

    

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See Me Seeing Through You

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

The other day I read an article about the efforts of a nudist colony to attract newer and younger members to complement their existing and perhaps sagging aging community. The article quoted some recently joined 'members' who squealed excitement at the feeling of being 'truly free' as they danced around a maypole of some sorts. 'Freedom', as I believe one member expressed in delight, was defined as being able to reveal ones true nature to others. Yes, I imagine that for some, there is a certain amount of bliss, if not pride, that can be derived from the ability to openly and honestly advertise 'what you see is what you get'. For others no doubt, such freedom, alas, falls … short.

Anyway, 'the point' is that this all got me thinking about honesty and openness, and to what extent we think others see us as we really are, assuming we really know who we are. It's easy to question this latter point, but I think it's more interesting to fathom just how well people really know us, especially in terms of understanding whether we are transmitting false signals about our personae or whether others are just plain reading us wrongly. As usual, it ultimately leads to exploring the great divide between 'us' and 'them'.

Speaking of 'great divides', let's not forget that some people are sadists and enjoy being assholes. At least, in a twisted way, you can't really accuse them of being fake with you. They have no problem brandishing a sign that reads 'caveat emptor', let the buyer beware, and then bashing you over the head with it. You'd either be a fool to pollyannishly think otherwise, or a masochist. Either way, you're going to get sucked into one hell of an emotional black hole.

OK, so assholes, notwithstanding, there are people who, by their own definition, are open books. I'll discuss these types in a moment. However, in contrast, there are those who put on airs or adorn themselves with all manners of masks and game faces as they promenade through life's social gaieties pretending to be what they are not... and perhaps desperately hoping that people will not see through their veils and just accept them as they want to be seen. With these types, 'the masks', it's kind of hard to see on whom the bigger mind game is played. Regardless, eventually disappointment rains down on all involved, leaving a partly clouded hue of resentment on both ends of the relationship. After the damage is done, they're famous for their parting words "who do you think I am?"

What of the 'open book' types? Well, you can take them or leave them without psyche splitting repercussions, be they sinners or saints, bleeding hearts or empaths, clown or intellectuals, wallflowers or slackers. You can deal with them on your own terms and not feel the mental stress of needing to keep score. In the best of them are found truly beautiful people who exhibit openness and honesty, and a genuine lightness of being. They may leave you with a smile, or a feeling of warmth. In the worst of them are found a 'laissez-faire' attitude; the 'devil may care', but you most certainly will not because all contracts are not binding.

As for me, I like to believe I'm an open book, even though I think too much. I hate mind games because I've played them on myself for so long and I've learned that life is hard enough without the added mental stress. I don't feign airs, but I can see through most foggy mists. Still, I'm mostly harmless; I don't usually have ulterior motives, and if I do, you generally should be flattered, rather than nervous. I espouse 'unconditional love' and strive to live and let live. Nevertheless, I must confess, I seem to unintentionally unnerve the unnerved, and enervate the zealots and proselytizers who seek to remake me in their image.

Yes, it's unfortunate that many people, especially the masks, want me to be something other than who I am. And, I'm happy with who I am, even if that means being misunderstood or disappointing others who are more interested in all things other than my happiness. Does that make sense? If not, let me explain it this way: I'm not a nudist. I'm happy if I've made you smile. I'm equally happy if I've pissed you off.

PS. Thanks for reading. Are you concerned by how you appear to others, or is that just how you really look? Let me know. By the way, if you are thoughtful enough to wonder how people take you, you obviously are OK in my book. :)

Suggested Listening:

   



Suggested Reading:

     

A Birther In The Rye (and other nonconformist ideations)

Light the lamp and fire mellow, 

Cabin essence timely hello, 

Welcomes the time for a change. 

- Cabinessence:  Brian Wilson & Van Dyke Parks

Uncle Sam used to tempt to us to 'be all that you can be', assuming we enlisted in the Army. I'm sure that many a good soldier not only answered this challenge, but met this call to action. Lots of others, however, paid it as much mind as they did the Tidy Bowl man (read: Ty-D-Bol) hustling his product from the blue waters of his commode based rowboat. Nevertheless, a bit of logic would suggest that sometimes you have to separate the message from the messenger.

Why do only a fraction of us actually challenge ourselves to be all that we can be? A better question yet might be why we even aspire to be more than we are. Why aren't we just content to embrace mediocrity? Why must we be egged on to face and overcome adversity, just to fall back on resting on our laurels?

Slackers in Hell

Some might say that the answers to the above questions lie in our decidedly guilt-laden 'western' creed cum Judeo-Christian work ethic (breathe) chastising us to work on lest we be nothing... or worse than nothing (i.e. you're going to  hell). In the 12th century, admonition is found in the words of the poet Geoffrey Chaucer "Idle hands are the devil's tools." Some years later, in 18th century America, Benjamin Franklin chimed in as well "Trouble springs from idleness, and grievous toil from needless ease." Clever guy that Franklin was; talk of the devil makes some people real nervous.

Who among us hasn't smirked at the adage 'practice makes perfect'? We may nod, scoff, or lower our heads in submission. We may slink away in self-righteous depression and then mentally flog ourselves in passive aggression. Or, for a fleeting moment we may resolve in earnest to do better when 'next time' next comes around. Regardless, guilt for not 'trying harder' has already hit home, sometimes bringing with it humiliation, deprecation, degradation ... and lots of other negative ideations, too!

Congratulations! If you have read this far, take heart in knowing that you have reached the point where a narrator booms "Don't despair! Help is at hand!" From the depths of morosity a voice is heard. It starts in low, and then starts to grow... and as the Grinch discovered much to his chagrin, the sound isn't sad! Why, this sound sounds merry! In fact, it is merry VERY! (pregnant pause) Ok, maybe not merry, but the point is we can change our way of thinking, or at least we can think for a change and stop banging our heads against the same walls we know all too well. If we can learn to push the envelope of our own mental and emotional confinements and think outside of the boxes we entrap ourselves in, then we can defy our own expectations and in fact, the expectations of others.

A good place to begin is by introspectively asking ourselves who we are looking to please. Is it ourselves or the 'others'? Indeed, we need to ask if we define ourselves or if we are defined by 'others'. We must question why it is incumbent on us to seek recognition and approval from 'others' and not ourselves. We must petition for the question to be raised concerning why we have seemingly been programmed to place 'others' before ourselves. We must forward the proposition that, at some  point in our existence, we allowed 'others' to impress upon us the idea that we must repress our own needs and desires, suppress our emotional yearnings and oppress our thoughts with self-doubt and self-nullifying conviction.

The 'Donald'

Yes, despair not for I am sure that even now, though many of you have yet to reach for pitchforks, shovels and lanterns, my words have nevertheless resonated deeply within you all. As I spread these seeds of non-conformity, I can almost hear the words frothing forth from the corners of your mouths as you demand to know who or what institutions have visited our psyches with such atrocities. Friends, I don't have all the answers, but rest assured that I can tell you one thing of which I am certain ... Donald Trump is a bell-end.

PS. Thanks for reading. How easy is it for you to think yourself out of a box? Is it a box or more like a carton? Are you a 'birther' or were you just born that way? Let me know.

Suggested Reading:

     
     


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